33 Things That Can Shock Europeans Coming to India

India is a beautiful country with wonderful people. Travelers from all over the world are coming here in search of some kind of ‘spiritual truth’ to find peace so successfully promoted in Hollywood movies. The truth is it’s impossible to get this country in a few weeks. I have been living in India for the last two years and still, some things are looking weird to me.

Before coming here, avid tourists probably google the best places to visit, the food they should try, and place to learn yoga and meditation. Lazy people like me will read Wikipedia on the plane to find out this country is the second largest on the Earth, containing around 25% of the world population on a piece of land three times smaller than Europe.

So I’ve collected a list of things that shocked me while I was living in India… Good it or bad — no idea, and I’m not the one to judge, I’m the one to enjoy. :)

1. Family first.

It’s impressive how important the family is in India for almost every person I met. Unfortunately, here, in Europe, you can see more and more often how kids are showing their disrespect to elders — this is a pretty rare thing in India.

2. Father/husband’s name.

Whenever it comes to documents, they will require your father's name in the application — starting from a visa application to the SIM card you’ll buy in the airport. This was one of the most shocking things to me. Why would anyone need the name and contact of my dad? I don’t live with my parents for about 12 years and consider myself pretty independent to make such kind of decision as buying a sim card.

The truth is family in India is very very very important. Most of the men will never leave the house they were born in, while women will step as a daughter and wife to the husband’s house after the marriage.

Very few marriages are legally registered in India. To register your marriage, you need to provide a marriage invitation and photos from the wedding.

3. Transgenders and Gays paradox.

According to Wikipedia, around 5.5% of men in the world are gays and 1.4% are lesbians. You probably can easily guess how the country with traditions survived through the centuries is treating the LGBT community here. Though legally there was some progress to accept and protect the minority, I don’t think you will meet an Indian openly talking about his or her not traditional sexual orientation even to their friends.

At the same time, I noticed that people are welcoming…transgenders. More than that, they love to give money to them because there are a lot of transgender beggars on the roads and rarely people are saying ‘no’ to them. I was curious to find out the reason. I was told that it’s because Indians believe that transgenders are people of two sex, not only soul wise but physically — born with two pairs of organs, thus, they’re ‘godly creatures’ and not giving money to them will make gods upset.

I heard some of them can start removing their cloth to make you pay to them because many people would feel embarrassed about it.

This is a very upsetting fact and this business is pretty successful here.

4. Vegetarians. I’ve traveled a lot. This is the first country I’ve seen so many vegetarian places to eat. These roots are coming from religion. Most of the gods in India are vegetarians that make everyone who worships them to follow the same. You will probably hear many more reasons for that.

Some landlords will not allow you to rent an apartment if you’re not vegetarian.

5. Reproduction.

Sex talks are tabu in most Indian families and schools. People never ever talk about it. Probably, in modern Indian families, those topics could be discussed, but I’ve never heard about anything like that. It simply makes everyone uncomfortable. Neither parents nor teachers are telling the kids about reproduction. The only thing they know is that they allow having any physical relationship once they are married. Nothing about protection or venereal diseases.

Girls visit a gynecologist only when they are married and planning to have kids, or when they’re in real trouble. If you’re not married and decided to visit a gynecologist, ‘people will think you got pregnant’.

6. Movies VS Life.

Most of the Indian movies are about love and passion — something that you will rarely see in the families. People here don't express their feelings much, and no one talks about it. At the same time if you’ll go to any local cinema (which btw is called ‘theatre’ here) you’ll notice that almost all the banners show two faces — his and her selling the idea of infinite love and passion.

7. Touching the feet.

In India touching the feet of older people is a very common scene. You might see how people are doing it when they are meeting or leaving the elders or people they respect, or during the rituals. This is not just about respect, but getting blessings from them.

8. Violence is ok (especially among teachers).

Now, there are plenty of private schools where education is great and teachers treat kids properly. About 15 years ago the situation was different. There are many stories of teachers hitting the kids for any mistake. A classmate of my friend committed suicide because she couldn’t stand the principal hitting her in public for seeing a boy from the school right after the classes, as boys and girls were not supposed to talk or look at each other.

Teachers used to make kids remove their cloth and stand like that in front of the class as a punishment.

Unfortunately, even now such cases are not rare.

I also have seen how people in the families imitate hitting each other or actually do it for a joke.

9. Being straightforward is considered rude.

India is a country of smiling people. If you’re saying something that is just in your mind, people might consider you rude. If your opinion is different from theirs, you should just keep it to yourself, as people will just accept it as a fact that you’re trying to fight with them.

10. Man first.

No one will start talking to you if your man is standing next to you. He is the point of contact and no one will even look at you. Even if a woman asks a question, the responder most of the time will be replying to the man directly even if you’re standing just right there.

11. Mother is the unofficial head of a family.

After a man is getting married, he is bringing his wife to live in his family’s house so she will take care of the entire family. The head of the modern Indian family is usually a mother. Women here are very strong. These days, they make money and take care of their families. Most women here, especially in the cities, have reached that level of independence when they don't really need a man.

12. Hotels.

The restaurant or other food place is called ‘Hotel’. Don’t get confused with the one where you can rent a room, nothing related to that.

13. Gold deposits.

From childhood, many girls have their accounts in banks or in the jewelry shops where they invest money to buy gold to get married.

More gold you have, higher chances to get a better husband.

14. Dowry.

This is an old Indian tradition and, unfortunately, though it was banned, in many families it still exists. Basically, it’s the price groom can ask the bride’s parents as a price for him to get married to their daughter. It can be anything, a house, car, gold, cash, etc.

15. Cows.

Indians worship cows. For them, it’s a God and they should never hurt it in any way. At the same time, you can see thousands of cows walking on the roads during the day and eating garbage. Guess what! They are not homeless. Most of these cows have their owners to whom they are coming back at the end of the day, full of garbage in their stomachs. Somehow, these kinds of things are not considered hurtful for poor animals/Gods.

…speaking of which.

16. Gods.

Not that it might shock you, guys, as this fact is well-known. There are many Gods in Hinduism. Basically, most of the objects you can see around you can be related to a particular God. Besides, the same god might have tens of avatars with different names and looks. I think I should stop here.

Every family has its own “Family God’ they worship. That doesn’t mean they cannot worship other gods though. They can worship different gods during the different stages of their lives.

An interesting fact is that many people unaware of the difference between Budha, who was the founder of Buddhism, and Budha, which is astrology deity.

17. Toilet time restriction.

In slums and in some villages where there is no such facility as a toilet, people are going to the loo outside. The fun fact that women can go only early morning, so no one can see them. At the same time, men are free to go whenever they want. Also, many people are going in a group, it’s a form of chatting, exchanging news with the neighbors.

18. Right hand only!

You should never give or take anything using your left hand..ever! Some people were saying that it’s because the devil or some other dark energy is connected to the left side of your body. Others explained to me that this is because Indians are taught to use their left hand to wash themselves in the toilet. Unfortunately, they don’t know that many foreigners used to do everything with one particular hand, which is usually right. 😊

19. SC/ST.

This is the name of the lower cast. At first, it is a terrible problem for people getting to know the culture. Though Indian society fights for equality, the SC/ST cast is provided with many privileges in education, medicine, and employment.

A shocking thing for me was that these people are considered untouchable, so that no one ever would touch them or even drink using the same glass. For people from this cast working for someone in the houses, they have even a separate toilet. :(

20. The way they drink. One more thing that shocked me is the way people drink here. They never touch the glass or bottle. They hold it in the air that way so water comes directly to their mouth. It took some time for me to learn how to do it.

21. Maids.

Almost every house in India has a maid who comes every day to wash a dish, clothes, sometimes cook and take care of the children. This happens even when the women of the family are housewives. You will rarely see a house that doesn’t have a maid. That’s probably because the services are pretty cheap here.

22. The way they talk.

Sometimes, when I cannot understand the language people are talking about, I either do not know whether they are fighting, laughing, or having occasional chat.

Sometimes you might feel that people don’t really listen to you and just wait for a moment to interrupt you; you can also feel that some questions are asked only for the questioner to provide some kind of information about it and they don't really expect for you to answer. :)

23. ‘Did you have breakfast/lunch/dinner/coffee’.

This is kind of ‘How are you?’ question here. First, I couldn’t understand why everyone is so interested in whether I had my food. Lately, I realized that this is just a polite gesture to start a conversation with.

In the photo above, you can see the sign Indians make sometimes when they ask you this question.

24. Languages.

There are 22 official languages people speak in India. And the funny thing, despite the most spoken language is Hindi (about 41% of people speak it), the proportions of communities speaking a particular language are pretty much the same.

Indian language changes every few kilometers just like the water.

Many people speak English here and it’s the Associate official language while communicating with the states, and Hindi is an official language the government speaks.

25. They rarely say ‘hi’.

First, I was upset that my neighbors or people in the shops I visit regularly don’t respond to me when I’m saying hi. Then, I was told that most people don’t do that and they could think you want to start a conversation if you’re saying hi :).

26. Hidden Gems.

Many people here worship Shiva. There is a very controversial theory of Shiva’s sign ‘sexual’ nature, which is not accepted by the majority of Indian society, and I totally respect it. But whenever I see this ritual, I can't stop my imagination :). In this photo, you can see one of the puja rituals performed in the temple, and very few people connect it with any form of sexuality.

There are many other similar topics and facts related to the ‘physical’ nature that make Indian uncomfortable talking about it.

Konark Sun Temple

27. The last name.

Ok, ladies. If you're married to an Indian your last name will be his…first name!

28. Side effects.

Probably you’ve heard about rape cases in India. Usually, they are terrifying and the victim is a woman. The dark side of it is that women started using this to get what they want. For example, if you’re a girl and you’re taking the cab at the night and don’t want to pay for it, you can just say to the driver to let you go without paying, otherwise, you would go to the police and file the case that he was trying to molest you. For example in Delhi, nowadays, cab drivers often refuse to drive women home late-night if they are traveling alone.

These cases are not only in the service industry, many foreign tourists were caught in this trap by local women. :(

29. Holding hands.

You will see many guys on the roads walking and holding hands. That doesn’t mean they are part of the LGBT community expressing their relationship in public. This is completely normal here and kind of a cute sign. This is a symbol of loyalty, trust, and affection.

30. Sex of the child.

Doctors are not allowed to disclose the sex of the child to the parents. This was done mostly to protect females. In India, the birth of the child boy considered a gift, while the girl is an extra expense, because once she’s married she is no longer a part of this family, thus, wouldn’t take care of the parents. Basically, very risky investment. So Indians used to kill girl babies before and after birth. :(

31. Foreigners are not allowed.

Once I and my boyfriend were traveling to Bombay for work. We booked the hotel via booking.com, but when we came there to check-in I was refused to stay because ‘foreigners are not allowed’. The same happened in a few other hotels we tried that night till we found a very overpriced hotel to check-in. The reason is that prostitution is very common in India, especially in Bombay and Delhi. Very often the police come to the hotels to check every room and in case if you’re not married they can take you to jail!

32. Putting babies to sit on the tables in the restaurants.

This is one of the weirdest things I’ve seen here. From a cheap cafe to a five-star restaurant, people put their babies on the tables to seat there while they are eating…I believe this is highly unhygienic and, thus, disrespectful towards people around you. Imagine if adults would be sitting on the tables as well…

33. Sex scam.

Gents coming to India for physical entertainment! Many times I heard stories about local ladies sucking the money from foreigners and some local guys as well, especially in Delhi. Be aware, that in India, women can go to the police and file a complaint that you raped her without providing any proof... Without any hesitation, the police will put you to jail, and only after that would start an investigation. So many women search for a one-night stand only to blackmail a guy after spending the night with him. In case if you would refuse to pay money, they would go to the police. So be careful with this kind of ladies .:)

I love India. I love the people living here and their traditions. There is something spiritual about everything you see, eat, or hear here. India changes you, India shocks you.

I’ve never seen people coming here and leaving without strong feelings inside. They either hate everything about it or love it.

It was love from first sight for me. I learned how to accept traditions and be flexible in my views. I hope these kinds of ‘shocking’ facts will not scare you away from trying to understand this beautiful country. Though I’m not going to stay here forever, I value every experience this country teaches me.

P.S. I’m going to add new shocking things to the list once discovered. :)

This article is based on my own experience, so many facts can be controversial or different from someone else’s experience.